DEAR CARALLEL: My mother moved in with me a couple of years ago after she suffered a stroke. Her recovery has been slow but steady and we are chugging along. While she’s not back to the way she was before the stroke, Mom has regained her speech and a good portion of her mobility. She’s come … “How can I encourage her to do more on her own?”
DEAR CARALLEL: My father is 86 years old and living his best life. He is social and independent and we consider ourselves lucky that his biggest challenges are diminishing eyesight and hearing. Both have gotten quite a bit worse in the past two years so I was very relieved when he agreed to stop driving a few … “I was relieved when Dad stopped driving, but now I’m his driver and it’s a full time job. Help!”
DEAR CARALLEL: My parents moved to Scottsdale, AZ sixteen years ago after Dad retired. They were done with the cold winters and wanted to be closer to my sister and her kids. Dad died suddenly two years ago and since then my sister has been taking care of our mother. Mom has kidney disease and hasn’t … “I feel guilty and want to help my sister but don’t know how from across the country.”
DEAR CARALLEL: I’m sixty-five and my wife is seventy-one. Married later in life, our first 6 years together were like a dream. We bought our perfect little condo, traveled often, and were active as could be. A bicycle accident a couple of years ago changed things. It sparked a chain of events that left my wife … “I think I might scream the next time someone tells me to take care of myself.”
DEAR CARALLEL: I’ve been caring for my mother for about six years now. She’s 84 and mentally sharp, but struggles with being overweight and has slowed down quite a bit since last summer. She has also become more isolated in the process. Mom used to go to bingo and volunteer at our church twice a week … “Mom is moving to Assisted Living and I’m overwhelmed by the thought of cleaning out her house.”
DEAR CARALLEL: My father has been living with my family since 2019. I don’t have any siblings and it seemed like a no-brainer after my mother passed away. He adjusted, we adjusted, and things were fine for a while. But his health has declined and things have gotten challenging in the last couple of years. He’s diabetic … “I promised my father he’d never go into a nursing home. I need to break that promise and I’m heartbroken.”
DEAR CARALLEL: This is the first year that I have to do my mother’s taxes. After wasting hours on them yesterday and accomplishing nothing, I realized that I have no idea what I’m doing. Because mine are simple, I’m able to use the free version of TurboTax. That doesn’t work for my mother because she has … I spent all morning on my mother’s taxes and got nowhere. I need help but can’t afford it. Help please!
DEAR CARALLEL: I’m 71 years old, have never been married and I don’t have any children. My sister lives in Rhode Island and while we have a good relationship, we don’t see each other much. Maybe once every few years. I heard the phrase “Solo Ager” recently and it gave me a chuckle because I guess … I love my independence! But I know things can change and I want to be prepared.
DEAR CARALLEL: Do you have any advice on how to pay for nursing home care? My dad is in a rehab facility and it doesn’t look like he’ll be able to go back to his townhome. He had a stroke two months ago and needs a lot of help even to get from his bed to … “The cost of a nursing home is way more money than he has.”
DEAR CARALLEL: My partner has some dementia. I began noticing changes in his behavior a few years ago and we eventually got the diagnosis of frontotemporal dementia about 18 months ago. While I am afraid of what is to come, I’m angry now because he refuses my help. And he needs help with everything! Getting ready … “He refuses help that he clearly needs. What do I do?!?”