DEAR CARALLEL: I’ve recently realized how much help my mother and father need and I’m overwhelmed. They are 79 and 83 respectively and until these last few weeks, I thought they were in good health and doing just fine. Sure, they slowed down a bit in recent years, especially dad, but I thought that seemed normal … I’m new to this. Where do I start?
DEAR CARALLEL: My wife was diagnosed with vascular dementia back in 2020, shortly after she retired from her job as a primary school teacher. She taught for 42 years and next to her family, there was nothing in the world that she loved more. Life has been different since the diagnosis but it hasn’t been half-bad. … I know what she’s saying isn’t true but when I say so, we argue.
DEAR CARALLEL: My mom died suddenly two years ago and my dad will be moving in with us in a couple of weeks. He was doing ok in the immediate aftermath of mom’s death, I think because he was in shock and running on adrenaline. He was still keeping to their routines and managing the house and staying … Dad’s moving in. My stress level is through the roof!
DEAR CARALLEL: My wife Bonnie and I are in overall good health but she’s become unsteady on her feet recently. It’s a first for her and it’s been a little scary. I first noticed it when she was holding onto the rails more to get up the stairs and sometimes she has to try more than … I’m afraid my wife will fall in the shower.
DEAR CARALLEL: Mom moved in a few years ago when Dad died and it’s been rocky from the get-go. We’ve always been close but having Mom living in the house has tested us both. She’s 84 and even though she’s slowed down a bit, she’s still sharp and really values her independence. On the one hand … She agreed to move but how do we pick the right Assisted Living community?
DEAR CARALLEL: I don’t know another way to say it other than that that my brother isn’t a good person. Hard to believe I’m saying that about my sibling, but it’s the truth. He’s never been violent or otherwise abusive, that’s not where I’m coming from. It’s just that he’s spent his entire adult life, … My brother isn’t a good person and now I need to care for him
DEAR CARALLEL: My husband is 73 years old and living with dementia. Our life has been a roller coaster for the past five years. At the beginning of it all, we were noticing changes in him but didn’t know what was happening. When we finally got an answer, vascular dementia, it became more real and frightening … My husband has dementia. What’s life like for him?
DEAR CARALLEL: My wife Yvette had a scary fall a few weeks ago. She broke her left leg, left wrist, and suffered a mild concussion. It’s an understatement to say I’m thankful the outcome wasn’t worse because it easily could have been. Yet as she moves closer to leaving the rehab center the reality of what … I became my wife’s caregiver in the blink of an eye. Now what?
DEAR CARALLEL: My mother moved in with me a couple of years ago after she suffered a stroke. Her recovery has been slow but steady and we are chugging along. While she’s not back to the way she was before the stroke, Mom has regained her speech and a good portion of her mobility. She’s come … How can I encourage her to do more on her own?
DEAR CARALLEL: My father is 86 years old and living his best life. He is social and independent and we consider ourselves lucky that his biggest challenges are diminishing eyesight and hearing. Both have gotten quite a bit worse in the past two years so I was very relieved when he agreed to stop driving a few … I was relieved when Dad stopped driving, but now I’m his driver and it’s a full time job. Help!