DEAR CARALLEL: I’ve always loved the holidays but I can’t get into them this year. Caring for Mom is now a full time job. On top of my actual full time job, family, and life in general. I don’t have the energy. I feel like I’m letting my family down. What can I do? –Caroline in … I don’t want to deal with the holidays this year.
DEAR CARALLEL: My mother passed away back in 2018 and Dad has gone steadily downhill ever since. He’s 79 years old and relatively healthy but the heartbreak of losing his partner in crime of 51 years has taken a big toll on him. The first year after Mom was gone was rough and then it got … My siblings seem to think I should do all the work.
DEAR CARALLEL: Mom was diagnosed with cancer four years ago. Her treatment went well and she’s okay now but the experience took it’s toll. On Mom of course, and on Dad too. He seems tired and his diabetes is becoming harder to manage. My brother and I have been a good team in helping them when … We’ve got decisions to make but can’t talk about them!
DEAR CARALLEL: I’m 71 years old, have never been married and I don’t have any children. My sister lives in Rhode Island and while we have a good relationship, we don’t see each other much. Maybe once every few years. I heard the phrase “Solo Ager” recently and it gave me a chuckle because I guess … I love my independence! But I know things can change and I want to be prepared.
DEAR CARALLEL: I’ll make this short and sweet. I’ve been helping my mother for the past six years since her dementia started getting worse. She’s doing ok and for the most part I am too I guess. Except that I’m really not ok because I’m sick and tired of this emotional roller coaster! I’m always on … Any advice on how to handle the emotional roller coaster?
DEAR CARALLEL: I’ve recently realized how much help my mother and father need and I’m overwhelmed. They are 79 and 83 respectively and until these last few weeks, I thought they were in good health and doing just fine. Sure, they slowed down a bit in recent years, especially dad, but I thought that seemed normal … I’m new to this. Where do I start?
DEAR CARALLEL: My mother moved in with me a couple of years ago after she had a stroke. Her recovery has been slow but steady and we are chugging along. While she’s not back to the way she was before the stroke, Mom has regained her speech and a good portion of her mobility. She’s come … How can I encourage her to do more on her own?
DEAR CARALLEL: Mom moved in a few years ago when Dad died and it’s been rocky from the get-go. We’ve always been close but having Mom living in the house has tested us both. She’s 84 and even though she’s slowed down a bit, she’s still sharp and really values her independence. On the one hand … She agreed to move but how do we pick the right Assisted Living community?
DEAR CARALLEL: My father is 86 years old and as independent as they come. He’s sharp mentally but unsteady on his feet. I live six hours away and while he’s finally agreed to let me bring in outside help for him a few times a week, I’m afraid he’ll fall when nobody is there. What can I do … What can I do to keep him safe at home?
DEAR CARALLEL: I’m sixty-five and my partner is seventy-one. We got together later in life and our first 6 years together were like a dream. We bought our perfect little condo, traveled often, and were active as could be. A bicycle accident a couple of years ago changed things. It sparked a chain of events … I think I might scream the next time someone tells me to take care of myself.